Most poems survive a silent read. Say them out loud and the truth arrives quickly: the line that looked graceful on the page trips over itself, a rhyme thuds where you wanted a chime, and a phrase you loved turns out to be three words doing the work of one. Editing your own poetry is largely a matter of trusting your ear over your eye.
Read the poem twice: once slowly, once at the speed you would actually speak it to someone sitting opposite you. The slow read exposes clunky consonants and long unstressed runs. The faster read exposes monotony — lines that all move at the same pace, all land on the same beat.
Mark with a pencil wherever your mouth hesitates. If you stumble twice in the same place, accept that the problem is in the poem rather than in your reading. Then record it, if you can bear to. Hearing your own voice played back flattens your fondness for a line more reliably than anything else. Keep the recording for a day or two. The faults you noticed while reading will be the same ones you notice when listening.
A line break is not just where the page runs out. It is a pause with weight, and it can do things a comma cannot: hold a word alone for a beat, delay a meaning, let a phrase mean two things at once.
Try this with any line:
The tide comes in and takes the last of the light with it
Break it after "light" and the sentence still moves. Break it after "with" and the little word hangs there, awkward, and the reader stumbles. Break it after "comes in" and "and takes the last of the light" becomes its own strong unit. Same words, three different poems.
Use the cover test. Lay a sheet of paper over everything below the line you are reading and read that line alone. Does it hold as a piece of speech? Then slide the paper down and read the two lines together. Did the break add hesitation, surprise, or a second meaning? If it did neither, the break is decoration. Cut it or move it.
While you are there, look at the shape on the page. If every line is roughly the same length, the poem will sound roughly the same all the way through. Let some lines be short and blunt. Let one be longer than the rest.
Adverbs propping up a verb ("walked slowly"), adjectives stacked three deep before a noun, abstractions such as "sadness" or "freedom" where a specific object would do, and the small connective padding: "began to", "in order to", "the fact that", "very", "really", "just", "suddenly". None of these is banned. "Just" can carry an entire tone of voice. But each one has to earn its syllable.
Verbs, nouns, and the odd preposition that turns. If you must choose, keep the concrete word and lose the explanatory one.
So "I was walking very slowly down the empty street" becomes "I shuffled the empty street" — or "I walked the empty street, unhurried" if you need the extra beat. Both keep the quiet; one moves faster and sounds more like a person.
Here is the rule that saves you from over-cutting: read the new line aloud the moment you change it. Removing a word removes a sound, and the rhythm you broke is now your problem. If the line was three stresses and is now two, the whole stanza leans.
Poems live in the mouth. Before you replace a word, listen to what it was doing besides meaning. In "the slow cold water", the long vowels are half the effect; swapping "cold" for "grey" changes the temperature and the hum.
Consonants do work too. Hard k, t and p sounds give a line bite; m, n and l soften it. A run of the same consonant can be a gift ("the sea keeps its secrets") or an accident ("the bright bridge broke"). Read the line and feel where your tongue goes.
Silence counts as sound. A full stop, a comma, a stanza break, a very short line: each buys the reader a pause. If a passage feels crowded, you may not need to cut words at all. You may need to give it air.
And leave one thing wrong. A poem sanded to perfect regularity loses the pressure that made it interesting. The line that resists the metre, that lands on the unexpected stress, is often the one people remember.
The point of revision is not a poem with nothing left to remove. It is a poem where every remaining word is load-bearing, and the music still sounds like something a person would say.